Exit Wound
Welcome to my website, the wonderful world of Exit Wound! (Well maybe not that wonderful.) Welcome to the semi-wonderful world of Exit Wound. (Maybe that's still a bit too much.) Okay how's this?
Hey, all you moronic fudge-packers and disease-ridden sex kittens! (Great , now you'll think I'm from Seattle). Well, WHATEVER, you've stumbled across the most, unfocused, egotistical, web site for the most worthless and self-serving music artist since Prince. Yes kids, it's the one and (thank God) only Exit Wound. The word is out that the girl who runs the label (the self-proclaimed Anti-Mogul) is an overgrown trust fund brat. We understand she owns several slaughter houses and she is also rumored to be involved in the creation and distribution of pornography. She is also a loud-mouthed, close-minded and arrogant tyrant who has been officially pronounced legally braindead in three different time zones.
Anyway, it appears that this music making business is really nothing but a pathetic front for untold illicit and illegal operations. So then, welcome to the nightmare world of Exit Wound, the only place in all of indieland where you'll find a knife in your back simply for uttering the term alternative.
Well, that will have to do as an introduction for now later when this music crap takes off running like a stripper in a leper colony we can get some hot-shit writer to dream up some devastatingly cool, and ultra-hip propaganda that'll make your head spin and have you vomiting guacamole. Okay kids, so here we are; I've got the records and you got your fat momma's big-ass chequebook. The logistics are that you desperately need a bunch of my music to increase your cool quotient among your useless friends and I need some action to keep up this facade I've created posing as an incredibly pretentious but borderline happening musician. Now, we know there's lots of records out there and we know you can only weasel so much dough outta your mom but wouldn't you rather be supporting a musician fronting such important enterprises as the calculated murder and sales of animals for human consumption and everyones life's blood, pornography? I thought so.
So, while I'm aware that some of the other small labels pretend to put their heart and soul into the records they peddle, I'm being totally upfront which should help me here at the Exit Wound Nerve Center to gain your trust (no matter how misguided) and get you to support mu cause of bringing western civilization and possibly the whole stinking world to it's proverbial knees. I hope you'll understand that just because I'm in the slaughter and sex for sale game it doesn't mean that I don't know about good music. The fact is I know alot about it and my massive and, need I say, impressive catalog proves it in hearts and spades. So, take a good long look at it (I said a long look) and tell me there's a cooler entity out there than Exit Wound.
